Jealousy

What are you jealous for?

This is something that's been on my mind and heart for a couple of weeks now. Do you ever do a self-evaluation?  Oh I do because my standard is Jesus and so there is always and will always be something about me that needs to change to be more like Him. If not, I'd be perfect. I would not even need Jesus because I'd be Jesus. That thought is simply scary.

Why am I bringing this to your attention? Well, I was reading my Bible with my husband and reading a new devotion The Cline's gave us for CHRISTmas the other day and as I'm reading I came across the question...

"Do you guard your time with Jesus with jealousy?"

I read it at least 10 times thinking I must have read this question wrong. Nope, I did not. It was VERY clear. It hurt. I rephrased the question in my mind "Do I, Jennifer Brooke Shuler, guard my time with Jesus as so valuable, so important, so top priority, so precious, so off the charts, that I would not and will not let ANYTHING get in the way or come in between my time with Him every day because it is THAT important (as in BIG DEAL can't live without it)." I pondered on this but immediately knew the answer. No, I do not (ouch!). Talking about a hard self-evaluation. You see, I LOVE LOVE LOVE spending time with my DADDY every day. In fact, He is a part of my everyday, my conversations, my getting ready in the morning, my work that day. I talk to Him all day long. It's a never ending conversation. I pray constantly. I read my Bible not out of duty but because I want to. But that is not what the question asked. Do I guard my time with Him with jealousy? I started thinking IF I had not had my quiet time that day and something came up - would I guard that time with such jealousy that there is no way I'd even want to actually do something else because it would be like a huge, heart-sinking, can't breathe issue if I didn't have my time with my Jesus that day.   The I cannot live without spending time with Him feeling because I cherish that relationship above all else.    Above my husband, my children (obviously all of these don't apply to me), my friends, my family, my meals, my job, my to do list, my church time, my daily exercise routine, my house chores, my TV time, and the list goes on according to what takes up your/my time. Oh dear. Conviction. It hurts, but it's beautiful.

I realized as important as I think my quiet time with Jesus is to me - that I do not guard it with jealousy on a daily basis. I let things get in the way or let the time slip away doing something that is clearly not more important. I get caught up in the busyness of my job and sometimes feel so tired by the end of the day after dinner that I tell myself I need to spend a little time with my husband or I need to go to bed earlier or I need to wash clothes.

What gets in the way of your time with Jesus? Is your time with your husband or your significant other what you guard with jealousy? Are you so addicted to a TV show that you would definitely guard that time with jealousy more than spending time with your Saviour that day? Is the gym and being physically fit something that you make time for always even if that means you aren't spending any quiet time with Jesus that day?

The thing is - I say my relationship with Jesus is the most important priority in my life but how can that be true if I'm not spending time with Him and guarding that time with jealousy?  What we spend our time doing each and every day clearly reflects priorities. Check out your calendar or daily to do list.  How am I getting to know Him more if I'm not guarding my time with Him with jealousy in such a way that nothing gets in the way of me spending time with Him because it's simply top priority!  Obviously we should not spend time with Jesus because we have to but because we desire to Know Him more, afterall that is our purpose on this earth is it not?

[For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]
Philippians 3:10 (AMPLIFIED)

I love how the Holy Spirit reveals Truth in our lives and even when it hurts or stings - the beauty of it is we can choose to keep doing things our own way (and be our own god) or we can choose to allow the Spirit to reign and rule over our lives! I'm so thankful for conviction. I'm thankful for friends who speak the truth in love. I'm thankful for a husband that lovingly confronts me when my attitude or my actions are not glorifying Jesus. Even when the truth hurts, I'd rather truth be revealed than to be living in such a way that isn't bringing God glory.

How about a cup of coffee, the Bible, and some QT with JC?!?

Happy Thursday Friends!